i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
