is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
