she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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