I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
