I must be too annoying 4 u.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
