I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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