Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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