so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
