This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
