1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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