No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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