Cold hands, warm shart.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
