If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
