Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
