U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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