I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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