Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
