beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
