I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I bet he comes in French.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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