if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just blew my weed a kiss
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
