Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Your tits are I can't wait for
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
birth control should be required to get into college
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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