Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
