No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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