If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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