then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
