Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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