Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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