Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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