Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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