your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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