you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
