did you get engaged???
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
