A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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