She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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