He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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