im drinking this country out of the recession.
even my farts smell like vagina
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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