direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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