I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
