I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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