a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
