One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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