I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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