Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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