And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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