A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
im on a boat
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