I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
