is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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