I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
