is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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