you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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