I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
