try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
God I need to hump something, right now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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