I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
