so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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