Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
